i feel like shit

so i need to vent a little bit.

for the past like idk.... 3-4 weeks ive been talking to a girl that ive found feelings for again and ive enjoyed every minute of every day talking to her but its come to the fact we will be nothing but friends with benefits other than (what i had hoped for) a relationship again....

i was ok with this scenario for the first few times i thought about it but just last night i got off the phone with this beautiful women and i thought about ..... us .. you know and i decided that id rather be happy in a relationship other than only having the benefits of a relationship and i know the typical 17 year old male would love FWB's but idk im not feeling it ya know

so i told her, like 5 minutes ago and;

nothing will come of it
she doesnt want a relationship, which is her decision
but now ive lied to her and told her im taking a nap to just get this thought out of my head which isnt really working i cant get her out of my head
so i feel like shit over my ..... noblity (is that the right way to discribe my actions) idk not to call her skanky or anything because like i said before im rushed with old and new feelings for this girl and idk what to do


my heads spining

baby if you read this im sorry.....
this is just something that i cant do

..... im going to sleep

SAT PREP COURSE

im in sat prep course... wtf
Jones-Lester is blabbing up at the front of the media center
shes fucking stupid
no ones listening to her ramble .....


FML