I'm in Motion

Damn its been a long time my non-viewing, non-reading audience
i feel like i have this convo. with you every time i get on Blogger......
Whatever man

idk really why i got on here i was bored for the most part, just chillin
i really think i need to do this on the regular
its one thing to make me feel better when I'm feeling like shit
but its a complete other thing when I'm bored
i just ..... type the random thoughts in my brain
at the split second that they collectively combine in my head

its kind of like a two year old in there I'm thinking about three things and three things only

SCHOOL.
WOMEN.
SLEEP.

sleep on that instance was amazing last night and if i were to blog in the morning i would be able to tell you my epic dream .... but and 6:33 in the evening the only thing i remember about it is that it was SUPER EPIC....

apparently that's what its like when you smoke D.M.T. its like a herbal thing that you extract out of tree bark that goes for like crazy prices but honestly its cheaper to go through extracting process then to go score two G's of D.M.T.

so you smoke it, then in an instant your in like a 4th dimension like craziness in a bong load
and then you wake up like 5 minutes later you wake up and just like a dream you forget key parts of the EPIC high.....

video recorder is your best friend in that situation, Vlog it.

damn. started out nice but ended in the same old shit.

so ive led myself down a hole where there are painful things at the bottom

I've stopped something good
to try to get to something better (which hasn't come and will never occur)
and i realized that today....
so of course me being the retard that i am i try to go back to an original argee and DAMN if that back fired too

so now im alone(like i have been for the past few weeks but just thought it would all work out....damn if i was wrong)
and back to writing shitty, depressing blogs to try to get shit out of my mind.....(it doesnt work)
i like to think blogging helps me think but it just makes me think about the shit hole im in

this will prolly be one of the few blogs i write again untill something gets better
she'll prolly read this and ask why?
but for everyone else that have been reading my blogs for a while they know if its shitty i dont blog
because shit stays shitty for LONG periods of time............

eatting diner
smoking
and falling asleep are my main goals for a while........................

man credit recovery is fucking retarded

its 8:34am im sitting here in Mr.Rawls class
im bored as hell















get me out of here

damn

well end of the week already
and i have nothing to show for it other than court in the morning lol
obviously not from this week but for not having my lisence when i got pulled over on 10/25 lol
smart i know

my emotional state has been in a downward spiral for the past week or so
like i mean it goes around and around like one minute ill be content with my actions
and then the next im thinking about them and just thinking damn i a fucking retarded
but for the most part i feel i should stick to one thought and try not to think of the alturnitive

so for the select few that know of my current situations they know i ended it yesterday.....
still friends with this women im actually talking to her right now on facebook, i know facebook; everyone loves facebook.... lol

dude what a weird week lol

its been a weird but a good break

this break has been awkward
like I've found myself twice
sitting on my bed thinking about life, situations I'm in, and the others around me

my life i don't think could get any better like, spiritual?; like i haven't found god or anything ridiculous but like I'm content with my state of mind

the situations I'm in have made me think long and hard but at the same time made me happy for the 3-4 weeks they've been going on

and some the ppl around me have made me mad as hell
let pull on that for a second
i hear today that someone thinks just because he/she has some bad situation with themselves and others they can just say things about other ppl; and that wont get back to them, well it did and i think just because your in a fucked up state of mind stuck sitting there with nothing but a thumb in your ass feeling sorry for yourself, don't take something i have(and it may not be something that you think is worth anything but fuck you i enjoy it) and twist it to make it seem like your hurt because of problems that you brought upon yourself

so now that's off my chest and on a computer screen
everyone else that graces there presents upon me y'all are awesome just to let y'all know and
Cody i hope we can get the old click back together i miss y'all :)

OK well diners ready and my moms screaming

until the near future
farewell

i feel like shit

so i need to vent a little bit.

for the past like idk.... 3-4 weeks ive been talking to a girl that ive found feelings for again and ive enjoyed every minute of every day talking to her but its come to the fact we will be nothing but friends with benefits other than (what i had hoped for) a relationship again....

i was ok with this scenario for the first few times i thought about it but just last night i got off the phone with this beautiful women and i thought about ..... us .. you know and i decided that id rather be happy in a relationship other than only having the benefits of a relationship and i know the typical 17 year old male would love FWB's but idk im not feeling it ya know

so i told her, like 5 minutes ago and;

nothing will come of it
she doesnt want a relationship, which is her decision
but now ive lied to her and told her im taking a nap to just get this thought out of my head which isnt really working i cant get her out of my head
so i feel like shit over my ..... noblity (is that the right way to discribe my actions) idk not to call her skanky or anything because like i said before im rushed with old and new feelings for this girl and idk what to do


my heads spining

baby if you read this im sorry.....
this is just something that i cant do

..... im going to sleep

SAT PREP COURSE

im in sat prep course... wtf
Jones-Lester is blabbing up at the front of the media center
shes fucking stupid
no ones listening to her ramble .....


FML