...

so im writing this blog to vent nothing more so if your included then dont take it like im telling you i dont like/wanna be friends with you anymore its just a ramble of thought on a selected section on Blogspot.

First off ive lost all hope in ever finding a relationship. Ive come to conclude that people just see me as the fat kid thats semi-funny and that would make a good friend but not a boyfriend and dont think im gonna go kill myself over it (im not a stero-typical emo kid that would go cut himself in the corner and if you think of me like that your completely wrong im the exact opposite) im just unhappy and dont know if i can change that its been like this for monthes now ive just masked it and/or delt with it.

Second my friends are drifting away (or maybe its me) and i feel like i cant stand to be around them for instance Kara Jones (who i feel is one of my very most best friends ive ever had in my intire life and i love her for that) but i cant seem to bring myself to cope with that shes changed and that she is so different. Half of me thinks that true but the other half of me thinks its my unhappiness coming through and i cant cope with the fact that shes happy and im not (and i know im a dick for saying that and that Kara Jones doesnt deserve to have such a selfish shitty friend like me) and im sorry that i ever thought that and its ok if you never talk to me again i deserve it. Like i said Kara i love you; your the reason ive ive kept my sanity for this long. Now Terry i deeply feel that im starting to hate you and your egotistic attitude toward everything. It driving me fucking insane and i cant say that i wouldnt talk to you even if i had the chance because i also love him (no homo) hes a good friend just a pompus one. Alex and Cody i love you too and we dont hang out enough we need to fix that.

I LOVE ALL OF YOU and like i said this isnt a "hate blog" its just a rank about my shitty life at the moment. And mom if you do keep up with my blogs its not because of you; you are the reason ive kept my sanity this long (you may piss me off from time to time) but i love you and theres nothing in this world that can stop that.

This horrible mood im in has been brewing inside me for monthes and its finally surfaced on this shitty ass Monday. I cant write a good/happy blog or pick up my bass for the sake of playing it anymore im dying on the inside and i dont know why.

....

ive come to hate myself

I NEED A CHANGE OF COURSE!

you got the weed, i got the pipe.

so ive been thinking a lot lately and im thinking that ima go back to something i didnt really want to go back too and if your important you should know what im talking about. but idk if its really what i want and like half of me wants it back (the feeling) and i mean a little of the person. but the other half of me kinda doesnt wanna go back to that because i know it'll end the same. IDK

its killing me. and i really dont think id do that to that curtain person.

on a lighter note
i think im failing school and i dont know how other than the fact that i dont do my homework...
yeah i think thats it


i dont know this is a horrible blog but i needed to get it out there

its driving me INSANE!!!

It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again!

so its been a while, i think the last i was on here Hurricane/Tropical Storm Hanna was like 100 miles off of the east coast. Well it ended up hitting OBX and not Savannah like planned but i went to my Grandmothers anyway, with my brother (he evacuated from NOLA because of Hurricane/Tropical Storm Gustav) but anyway we went there and i ended up have a sickness thats been going around for the past few weeks and i ended up staying there for a whole week which was nice lol.

Straight Edge-ism is actually nice its REFRESHING lol it needed to be said.

well i think im done for now i might add on to that but nothing really interesting has happened since then


PEACE!!